Matter of Time

It is May 16th….which means it is one month away from my little guy’s 1st birthday!!! I can’t believe it. It is funny, I spent 29 years without him in my life and now, only 11 months old, I can’t imagine my life without him. I remember the day like it was yesterday, the moment I finally understood the love a parent has for their child. It really is a love unlike any other. You honestly can’t even understand it until you have a baby. It is so powerful. He is the best thing that has happened to me and my husband.

I fell in love long before A was actually born. I fell in love on October 17, 2011, the day I found out I was pregnant. Again, seems like yesterday! My husband and I didn’t waste any time, we got pregnant the second we even entertained the idea. I didn’t love being pregnant, I won’t lie. Well, I didn’t mind the first few months, but by 6 months I was counting the days until the baby was born. How come the last 11 months passed in the blink of an eye but the 40 weeks of pregnancy seemed to pass rather slowly? I remember arguing with my OBGYN about how far along I was …..if I was 27 weeks and 4 days and he said I was 27 weeks and 2 days, I would correct him or argue with him. He laughed. He was a man, he didn’t get it šŸ˜‰ Looking back, what difference did those 2 days make? The baby was going to come when he was ready. I just liked the idea of being farther along and closer to my due date.

I handled the whole idea of pregnancy better than I thought. A mere three years ago I was still in that ”pregnant women gross me out’ stage. The idea of having a baby growing inside my body just freaked me out. I thought it was unnatural and alien. I didn’t want to touch pregnant bellies or heaven forbid see a small foot shape appear through the skin of anybody’s belly. No way. And when I thought about how that alien actually left your body? Well that was just an instant panic attack. I really didn’t think I would be able to do it. No way!!! Not happening….science would have to figure out another way for me to deliver a baby. I’d wait. haha. Anyways, I did it (without the epidural I begged for but was unable to get!!) and the sheer motivation for me, the thing that made all the pain (that you never forget, no matter what anyone says) worth it was my little boy. I couldn’t wait to meet him. I waited 9 long months for him and I will never forget holding him in my arms for the first time. My first thought?? “Holy shit I am gonna drop him.” I was soooooo high on morphine and so tired from hours of pushing that I really didn’t trust my body to hold him. Thinking back I was in a bit of a fog. But I will never forget his little face. No matter how old he gets, I will still see that image in my mind every time I close my eyes. My boy. My love.

So the 9 months of pregnancy didn’t really pass by in the blink of an eye (or maybe it did, but it didn’t seem to at the time), but the last 11 months certainly did. My little newborn is now an adorable little infant who eats real food, says a few words and is well on his way to walking. Wow! Time flies. Everyday is something different with him, it truly isĀ amazing.

It’s almost time to have another one and do it all over again! ha! Not really, but I guess it is just a matter of time.

Hugs & Smiles,