Ahh….Sunday! My least favorite day of the week. Well I don’t enjoy Sunday evenings anyway (because it’s a work night). In fact, I start thinking about how much I dread Sunday evenings on Saturday evening. Weekends go by too darn fast! I loved mat leave because everyday was the same! Monday, Wednesday, Sunday- what did it matter? I had no obligations to be anywhere, report to anyone. If I wanted to run errands in the middle of the day, I could! If I wanted to spend 3 hours at the mall, I could (not that I did, but hey, if I wanted to there was nothing stopping me). If I didn’t want to get dressed or showered, I could! Now that I am back to the Monday- Friday, 8- 4:30pm work week, I miss my freedom. I miss my son.
Don’t get me wrong, ‘A’ is doing wonderfully at daycare….he’s very well adjusted, but it doesn’t make me miss him any less. I come home on my lunch break and I see his toys and empty highchair and it makes me sad. I have been told that this will pass, that I will learn to enjoy the quiet, empty house. Well, so far it hasn’t happened. When 4:30pm comes along, I can’t get to the sitter’s house fast enough. I literally run to my car and fly home! It honestly feels that way. I am surprised I haven’t received a speeding ticket. Good thing it is only a 4 minute drive, I’d never be able to last any longer. One day I almost got stopped by a train. That would not have been pretty. I would have looked like a mad woman, sitting in my car screaming at a moving train. I just love 4:34pm everyday when I can see my boy. It is what gets me through the day.
While I enjoy the adult interaction associated with being back to work, I really think I could be a stay at home Mom. The only thing is, I do enjoy that my son is getting to interact with other kids at daycare and he can’t get that at home. I know, I know, you are thinking ‘hey, you can solve that problem, just have more babies’. As I said in a previous post, all in good time! Prior to getting pregnant, I didn’t think I would want to be a stay at home mom. I didn’t think it was for me. I know a few Mother’s who say they definitely wouldn’t be able to do – that of course they love their kids whole heartedly but they just need to work outside their home, away from their kids. I understand and appreciate that for sure. I’d just love to be home everyday with my son, but I would still like to earn an income. So hmmm……how can I make THAT happen? haha.
Even if I were a stay at home Mom, I would have to do something on the side, for myself. Like this blog, or other writing avenues. I think if I earned a living doing something I was truly passionate about, something that I was born to do, things would be different and I would be less inclined to want to stay home. I envy my husband for having a career that he loves. He was born to do it- and he is good at it. He goes to work with a smile on his face and he doesn’t dread any day of the week. How many people have that? I want that. I just don’t know what it is I was ”born” to do. I didn’t know in Grade 4 what I wanted to be when I grew up like some of my friends (right JC?). I just earned my Business degree because I figured it was a valuable degree to have. It didn’t matter to me at the time, during the 5 years of university, that Business didn’t interest me. Well it should have mattered to me. I should have done something that allowed me to concentrate on my love of writing. Oh well….you live and learn right? I guess it’s never too late.
Until I figure out what I want, I would love to stay at home with my son. But that won’t pay the bills, so hi-ho, hi-ho, it’s off to work I go.
Is it Friday yet?
Hugs & Smiles,