Blood, tears and toutons


Happy Saturday!

Well I almost lost my cool this morning. By this I mean I got so fed up I was one exhale away from cursing and screaming. Forget tears, this wasn’t a crying matter.

For some reason this past little while ‘A’ has become obsessed with his nummy. Something that for almost 2 years now he has only had when he slept. As soon as he wakes he usually takes it out and walks away. But for the past few weeks he wants it day and night. Not happening. I am not having him now, at age 2, become dependent on that thing. That seems to be going backwards to me! Anyways, he doesn’t need it, he simply wants it.

So the second he takes that thing out of thing out of his mouth in the morning when he drinks his milk, I hide it. Usually in a kitchen cupboard where he’ll never find it. After he finishes eating he looks at me with his big eyes and says ”Nummy?” and I pretend I can’t find it. Sometimes he shrugs it off and plays. Other times he whines for it for a few minutes but after realizing that it really is lost (but yet miraculously shows up at bedtime), he forgets about it. Then there are days like today, when he will not forget. When he refuses to do anything without that stupid silicone nipple in his mouth.

He searched high and low. Then when he realized it was nowhere to be found, he started fake crying (which you know, isn’t at all annoying!!) I told him he didn’t need the nummy and to go play. Then the real tears started. He ran up and down the hall, freaking out. He went in his room. He kicked and screamed. He yelled the word NUMMY so loud I am sure our neighbors heard him and were just wishing I would give him that stupid thing. 

What did I do? I started cleaning my microwave. I totally ignored his little tantrum scene. Then I started making the toutons for breakfast that I was so excited for him to try.

That’s when things got bad. Here I was cutting the dough with a knife and I literally sliced right through my finger. Blood everywhere, a slit so deep in my finger I wondered if it would ever stop bleeding. Stinging, burning. I wrapped it in a Band-Aid and went back to the toutons.

All this was happening while I was listening to my 2 year old wailing and howling for his stupid nummy. He came running over to me while I was nearly bleeding to death (haha), with tears and boogers running down his face and calmly said ‘nummy’. I did what I didn’t want to do- I didn’t want to reinforce his behaviour but at the same time I wanted it to stop. I wanted him to shut up and the ringing in my ears to go away. I opened up the medicine cupboard and gave him his nummy. In a tone I am not proud of I said ”TAKE IT’. He walked away, sat on the couch and smiled, nummy in mouth while watching Bubble Guppies. I know what he was thinking- ”I won”. Yup, he won. This time. Because every now and then Mommy needs a break. 

In my mind I wanted to throw the nummy while yelling ”here you go! Take the f&*^%$# nummy”. Am I a horrible Mother? I don’t think so. At least I hope not. I was just having a moment where my sanity was more important than teaching him a lesson.

So yes, he won. He put up a good fight, and so did I. If I wasn’t bleeding and if I didn’t want to miss out on eating my toutons while they were hot, he wouldn’t have stood a chance.

There’s always next time. And I know without a doubt there’ll be a next time. In fact, next time will probably be this afternoon, after his nap. This time I’ll be ready. I bought ear plugs.

Hugs & Smiles



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