*** This is my most recent column in the Truro Daily News. I couldn’t access it online so thought I’d post it this way **
I am not a big fan of pregnancy. Ever since I was a teenager, the thought of growing a human in my belly freaked me out. Even now, as a Mother pregnant on my second child, it still seems rather alien to me. However, I do love feeling the kicks and jabs this baby likes to give me. I have come to appreciate its magic.
The aches, pains, weight gain and water retention, however, is not so magical. I can’t say I enjoy not being able to sit and comfortably fold laundry. I dropped a sock the other day and almost cried because I couldn’t pick it up.
I don’t love that a shirt I wear one day isn’t guaranteed to fit me the next. I don’t have a jacket that I am able to zip up. The only clothes I am truly comfortable in are my stretch pants. Why? Because they stretch. Best invention ever.
When I was pregnant on Aiden everything was so new. Every ache and pain sent me to the Doctor’s office. I slept when I wanted to and had his Nursery ready months in advance. All his little sleepers were neatly folded in his dresser, waiting to be worn.
This time around, having a 2 year old keeps me so busy that I sleep when I can and I don’t necessarily notice every ache and pain. I have 10 weeks or so until my due date and the nursery is still a storage room. Writing this column reminded me that I need to buy newborn sleepers.
Aiden knows that Mommy isn’t just eating too many cheeseburgers. He knows there is a baby growing in my belly and coming out soon to share his toys (and attention). Sometimes, he will come over and give his little brother a kiss or squeeze. It is adorable. He has felt him move in my belly and promptly told him not to kick.
Other times, I’m the one reminding him to be careful not to elbow, jump on or run into my belly (aka his baby brother). I will tell him to come feel the baby move and he will tell me that the baby is gone. I guess to Aiden, the baby is real when he wants him to be. Well, in a few short months he will be very real and Aiden won’t be able to hide from him.
I am nervous. For both of us. Some days now, I am so busy with Aiden I wonder how in the world I will handle two. Will I ever sleep again? How will Aiden respond to his new little brother? Will I feel guilty for not being able to give him as much attention as I do now? Will I feel guilty for not giving this baby the same amount of attention Aiden received as a baby? Will I remember how to handle a newborn? Will giving birth be any more fun than the first time around?
These are the questions I ask myself daily. I don’t even know the answers to all of them at this point. What I do know is I am ready to love my two boys. I had Aiden and couldn’t imagine loving him any more than I do. I have no doubt I will feel the same way about his little brother.
I guess your belly isn’t the only thing that grows during pregnancy…….Your heart does too.
Hugs & Smiles,