Ladies first



Happy Wednesday!


Holy shit! Well, more accurately, holy urine. I actually laughed out loud today at the tantrum my son had. I couldn’t help it. It was just yesterday I was thinking that it has been a while since Aiden had a good meltdown. You know the lay on the floor and scream kinda fit. I jinxed myself. I caused one today- I was the culprit. All I did was ask him if he wanted to pee on the potty. What was I thinking?


He had just woken from a nap and seeing as we are in the midst of potty training I asked Aiden if he had to use the potty. It must have been too soon because he crossed his arms across his chest and sternly said No. I said “Okay, well I’ll go then”. Usually this sends him running to the potty because he likes to do everything first. It’s how we get him to eat supper too, we threaten to eat it. It works. Anyways, I told him I was going to go to potty if he wasn’t, this time I meant it. So I turn to walk to the washroom and he starts running. I figured my trick was working yet again. Before I could pat myself on the back, I realize Aiden was standing in front of the toilet, protecting it like you would a tree threatened to be cut down. I asked him again if he had to use the potty and he said No. So I moved him and proceeded to use the potty myself. Well, all hell broke loose.


The next thing I know he is outside the bathroom door screaming and crying, fists pounding the floor, drool and boogers all over the place. I looked at him, laughed (literally) and stepped over him. Give me a break kid, I just had a baby, I can’t trust my bladder. I can’t assume that holding my pee will actually work so if you aren’t peeing, I am. One way or the other.


So I leave him be for a minute to get his rage out of his system and less than a minute later I walk into the bathroom and there is water everywhere. On the cupboards, on the toilet bowl, on the floor, on Aiden’s pant leg. And his hands are icy cold. Damn it, his hands are cold…..which means one thing. He put his hands in the toilet water.


Is this happening?


I ask what he did and he told me that he wanted to get my pee out of the toilet because he wanted to pee first, so he was splashing it away. The toilet had been flushed of course but it was disgusting nonetheless. Then he proceeds to tell me that the toilet was just too big and heavy for him to knock down. So after putting his hands in the toilet water he attempted to knock over the toilet? All because I had to relieve myself.?I didn’t want to think about what would have happened if I had ‘dropped a deuce’, as his father has taught him to say.


After I washed his hands, cleaned his face and unfortunately changed a wet pull up, we had a little talk about it being okay for Mommy to pee if he doesn’t have to. He understood.I hope he learned a lesson.


I know I did. For the love of god, next time I’ll just cross my legs, do a kegel and wait for the sensation to pass.


Hugs & smiles,




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