25 days ago, my husband fractured his ankle in two places while playing hockey. At the same moment it happened, two things happened for me: 1) I reconsidered my boys ever playing hockey since my hubby has had cracked teeth and now a cracked ankle because of this sport 2) I realized that I no longer had two boys to care for, I had three.
I know some of you must be reading this thinking that I am the most selfish person in the world. My hubby hurts himself and all I am worried about is how it will affect me. Of course that is not the case. I am worried about him and hope that he doesn’t need surgery. I want him to heal properly, 100% back to normal so he can go back to his old life and not have this injury affect his career (in which mobility is more than a requirement ;-)). But I know there are other women out there who read the first line of this blog and thought to themselves “Oh poor thing” in reference to me, and not my husband.
Why? Because having an injured hubby is like the Man Cold multiplied by a thousand 😉 I have to give my hubby credit though. He isn’t complaining or whining much at all. Even his level of crankiness is tolerable. He just needs me to do pretty much everything for him. This is not his fault, I get that, but it doesn’t make that any easier on me. Because he is laid up, I now have to do everything for both of our kids, with the added bonus of taking care of (and preparing meals for) a 33 year old man baby.
I know he didn’t purposely go out and crush his ankle so he could be laid up on the couch watching me care for our kids. But part of me wants to twist his toes when I walk by him (sorry honey, I love you). The worst part of it is, my husband took parental leave to stay home to help me care for our kids. What a waste! Now I need help to help care for my help!
Thanks to his crutches he can do some things. Hopefully soon he’ll be able to actually put weight on his foot and walk in his robot walking boot. Fingers crossed. Maybe then he can go back to burping the baby after he feeds him. Right now he can only sit with our 4 month old. Which is fine for a few minutes until he starts to cry, wiggle, whine or poop. Then I see my hubby’s arms outstretched, my little boy dangling in the air reaching for me, because Daddy has done all he can possibly do. Tag, Mom’s it! Too bad Mommy is busy potty training our 3 year old. Who, I must add, is pretty much completely potty trained. So that is one less butt I have to change. High five to that!
We had a routine in place. My hubby would do the overnight feeding (there is only one, and it’s been pretty much between 4am and 6am lately so Cam is pretty much sleeping through the night, or at least really long stretches) and I would go to bed early and get up early with the boys. It was working (sort of). Well now, thanks to ‘the ankle’, I have to do the overnight feeding too, which sucks. Again, not his fault. But that doesn’t make it any easier when the feeding rolls around and I look over at my hubby who is sound asleep, snoring. Is that a smile I see? He better not be enjoying this ‘break’ or he’ll be sleeping with a pillow over his face. I am joking, I know he isn’t and he’d give his right foot for this to have never happened. But in the glow of the night light, I swear I see a smile.
Add to the mix a head cold and teething for Cam and I am ready to pull my hair out. Cam’s schedule has been out of whack for a few days now. He’s not sleeping well and crying all the time. Kinda sounds like me these days. My hubby is trying his best, he really is, but there isn’t much he can do to help seeing as the only thing that seems to console Camryn is walking around with him (while rocking back and forth). So yeah, it’s all on me. Go Team Mom!! At least I am burning calories while I walk (seeing as I can no longer go to my fitness classes, leaving him alone with the boys). *sigh*
Oh well, like everything else in life, this too shall pass. I will get used to not having help at the same time my husband fully recovers. I have to give all single parents a special pat on the back as I am sure this is your day in and out. Kudos to all of you. But I miss my husband. I miss him running around the house chasing after A. I miss him being able to shower without my help. I miss going to the mall and holding hands, instead of him having to use the motorized wheelchair (haha, true story). I miss him lifting the heavy items that I can’t lift. I miss not being too damn tired to actually watch movies together and snuggle on the couch, in between a tray of nachos. I miss getting groceries together and him running our errands.
I think back after giving birth to my boys, both times, and how much help he was to me. I hope I am the same to him. I remember arriving home after having Cam and sending him to Walmart with a list. Granny panties, stool softener and maxi pads. God love him, he never complained once. He brought it all home without blinking an eye, wondering if he bought me the right pads. He even took pics on his phone to show me my selection. After 16 years together, nothing spoke true love like that shopping list.
So if he needs me to help clean his stinky foot, I will (and I have). I’ll take care of him and my other babes the only way I know how. With a lot of love. And spoonfuls of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream when I manage to steal a second to myself.
There have been positives come from this experience. Aiden called me Super Mommy the other day. I almost cried because it made me feel appreciated. And I have also come to appreciate the things my hubby does for me and our family. I was taking the little things for granted. I won’t anymore. So honey, hurry up and get better because this Super Mommy needs a nap.
Hugs & Smiles,