Hush little baby…..

Hello!

Happy Tuesday!

Any parent knows what it is like to be sleep deprived. For some, the sleep deprivation stage ends much sooner than for others. Some parents like to brag that their child started sleeping through the night at 8 weeks (I may or may not be flipping all of you the bird). Well, my 11 month old son is the most unpredictable sleeper. Some nights he wakes once or twice for a quick cuddle, or his nummy, or he is on his belly and caught in the corner of the crib and needs rescuing. Other nights, like the last two, he has slept through. Didn’t make a sound for 11 or 12 hours straight. But for every night he sleeps through, I have to pay tendfold. For 4 nights in a row this past week I got less than 3.5 hours sleep. Not even in a row. I’d be in and out of his room every 5 minutes. The second he was settled, I would creep back to my bed, get in, gently lay my head on the pillow that didn’t have time to lose my head dent, and he’d be crying again. One night, 264 times. One night he just decided to stay awake for two hours. Awesome buddy, let’s cuddle and chat and talk about how the one thing in the world Mommy hates is sleep.

Not only has he made it a habit of waking up a lot at night, his day starts early too. Oh yes, 5:20am after being up all night and he’s ready to go. Morning one, I sighed and got up and went in with a smile (after all, he’s cute). Morning two, it took me a little bit longer as I didn’t have much energy and had to literally drag my right foot along the floor as I made my way to his room. I still smiled as I opened his door. Morning three, my smile had faded. My husband had to work a day shift (and was on call as of 5am) so not only was he unable to help overnight but I couldn’t even nap during the day. It’s a horrible feeling being up all night knowing that for the next 15 hours there was no way you’d get any rest. So by morning four, after being up too many times, I started to cry when he woke for the day. I did. I cried. I was cranky as hell. I was snapping at my hubby as he got ready for work. I snapped at my 3.5 year old and poor Camryn didn’t get the best of me that day either. I was exhausted. Drained. But that doesn’t matter because both boys needed me. Sleep or no sleep, my day had to go on.

Some days are uneventful, long and boring when you’re tired and spend the hours counting down to bedtime. Others are very eventful. Today was a day when I am glad I was rested. Not only did I feel human, but I was in a good mood and not letting little things bother me. This is a good thing because when Aiden came running over to me holding a bottle of Febreeze, rubbing his eye, saying “Mommy, I sprayed this in my eyes, but it hurts so don’t you do it!” I remained calm and immediately rushed him to the bathroom to flush his eyes (which are fine by the way). Then when he told me his mouth tasted yucky (and smelled flowery), I realized I should probably rinse his mouth out too. The tired me would have freaked and not known what to do. I would have read the back of the bottle and seen in bold letters ‘DO NOT SPRAY DIRECTLY IN FACE’ and panicked. I probably would have cursed. Or maybe the floral scent would have put me to sleep, who knows. The point is, it was a good thing I was alert enough to deal with this.

The fun continued at bath time when Camryn took a bucket of water and poured it over his face, and got a mouth full. He started coughing and choking and turning red. As I picked him up and leaned him forward and started pounding on his back, he threw up. Everywhere. Water, and everything else in his belly. What a fright! All I kept thinking was what if that water had went into his lungs and I’d have to rush him to the ER. A minute later, Aiden comes running in yelling “BATH TIME!”, strips off his clothes and crawls into the tub by himself, while I am there holding Camryn (making sure he is okay). Aiden starts licking the bath water. Yes, the bath water that Camryn just puked in. I tell him to stop and he says he is trying to get the flower taste out of his mouth. I tell him again to stop. He doesn’t. I had a choice, either I could tell him that Camryn just threw up in the water and deal with him freaking out because he was licking the dirty water (hey, I may have gotten more than 3.5 hours sleep the night before but there was no way in hell I was in the mood to deal with a tantrum. Not if I could help it!!) OR sternly tell him that if he didn’t stop licking the water, bath time was over (which was risky because more than likely it would result in a tantrum too). But that is what I did. I gave him three tries to stop licking the water and he never, so I took him out. What I didn’t consider until now was leaving him in. HAHA! Don’t judge me. He’d already had a few good licks of the pukey water, what harm would it have done leaving him for a few more minutes? 😉

Camryn has been sleeping through the night for the past two nights. He’s done this before….which means any night it will end. His unpredictability sucks because every night I sit on pins and needles, waiting and wondering if he’ll wake up. I pretty much hold my breath all night long, hoping that monitor doesn’t go off. I am hoping he’ll get into a routine soon and start sleeping through EVERY night so I can feel like a human being on a daily basis. He needs to do it not just for me, but for himself and his brother too. I mean, I have to be prepared to handle any and all situations, right? I can’t have him spraying Febreeze in his face or eating pukey bath water too, now can I? 😉 No. I can’t. We all need our rest, sweet boy. So hush little baby, don’t say a word………

Hugs & Smiles,

Sonya

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Hugs and helmets

Hello!

Happy Friday!

I am doing something right. In this crazy world of motherhood where it is easy to doubt yourself at every corner, I know I am doing something right when I see how sweet my little boy, Aiden, can be. Not all the time mind you but overall I have played a part in raising a genuinely thoughtful and caring child. One that even talks about his feelings! Yes! He is a male and will tell me how he is feeling and why. I hope he never gives this up. I hope he always shares with me, and the future love of his life, his emotions.

Of course, I am not naïve. I know he’s not perfect. There are times when he is throwing a fit or being mean or just acting like a difficult child. During those times I take no credit for his behaviour and tell him he must take after his father 😉 I know that for how sweet he is, he is equally full of 3 year old rage. As much as he is a good boy, he can be a little punk too. I swear sometimes he has so much attitude I believe there must be a teenager living inside that little body. But for now, I am pushing that to the side and focusing on something I am more proud of. That is the fact that my hubby and I are raising a good boy.

Aiden is only 3 years old and I never instilled this in him, but for some reason he feels it is his job to protect me. It doesn’t matter that I am his Mommy, that I am ‘the boss’, and that he is the small boy and I am the adult, to him he is my protector. It’s adorable. If I exercise too fast (this seriously happened while I was doing mountain climbers), he will approach me with concern on his face, and ask me to please slow down because I am exercising too fast and I might hurt myself. During Halloween we had an extra pumpkin so I asked him if he wanted to carve it with me (while Daddy was at work). He said no, because he was afraid that I would cut my fingers holding the knife and he didn’t want me to get hurt. We drove from our house to visit our family 2 hours away, and he reports to Poppy right away that he did a great job keeping Mommy safe while we drove. Wait…. I am starting to see a pattern. Maybe it isn’t sweet after all. Maybe he thinks I am an accident waiting to happen and doesn’t trust me with sharp objects, moving vehicles or even my own body! LOL

In all seriousness, he must learn this from me. He sees how much I care for him, how much I am concerned for his safety, so he needs to protect me from the same things I protect him from. Same thing with expressing his feelings. I tell Aiden how I feel. If I am frustrated with something he is doing, I will tell him. If he does something that makes me mad or sad, I will tell him. And I always always always apologize if I lose my cool. Now I find he does the same thing. He may not tell me in the moment, but it doesn’t take long for him to come to me and tell me why he was frustrated. It is so cute. He will say ‘Mommy, I was very frustrated because Camryn was trying to play with my toy’. He apologizes too. So I guess kiddies really do learn by example. Which isn’t always a good thing. I’ve heard him use the F word in context. For example, “Mommy, the birds are eating our fucking garbage!!!’. I have heard him tell me, under his breath, to piss off. Then he immediately says “Sorry Mommy. Daddy says a lot of bad words”. HAHAHA. Well, at least he’s blaming Daddy because I know he has heard me say a few bad words in his short life. Just today I said one and he yelled out from another room “Mommy, LANGUAGE!” and I responded “Sorry!” Wait, who is the child and who is the parent here again? 😉

Even if he goes downstairs to help Daddy work on the basement, he pokes his head out the door literally every 2 minutes and says “Mommy, are you okay up there?”. When I respond “Yes honey, I’m fine!” he says “Call out to me if you need me, Mommy, ok?” I smile every time.

When he knows I am frustrated, he gives me a hug and then runs to draw me a beautiful picture to make me feel better. I get kisses all the time. He holds my hand, simply because he wants to. He’s a snuggler, and I hope that never changes. Then there are the moments where I consider the fact that there are in fact two of him. The good boy and the well, for lack of a better word, ass! Lately he is on this ‘I want you to go away and never ever come back’ or ‘I am not going to love Camryn ever again’. This morning he told Camryn that if he didn’t stop crying he would ‘crack his head open!’ Seriously! Where in the world did he hear this? There are times when I feel like I am raising my voice and disciplining him all the time. How can he go from one extreme to the other within seconds? Yesterday we had a dance party in the kitchen that lasted about two minutes. Even Camryn was dancing and laughing. The party ended abruptly when, like a switch, Aiden started screaming because the music was too loud and he wanted it turned down. I get so frustrated and try not to pull my hair out. Then a few minutes later, he says something so sweet that my heart literally melts and I think ‘are you a 90 year old man living in a 3 year olds body’? He is so wise beyond his years and says things you wouldn’t expect a 3 year old to say…..and I am back to being proud. The crazy episode just moments before pushed aside for just a moment while I take in his goodness.

Like the rest of us, he has his moments and he has his moods (they just change more frequently than most. LOL). He’s just trying to figure things out and as his Mommy, it’s my job to help him do that. To teach him what behavior is and isn’t acceptable (like threatening to crack his brother’s head open). Along the way, you take the good with the bad I guess. While, thankfully, there is more good than bad, I take comfort in the fact that he is turning into a boy I am proud of.

Hugs & Smiles,

Sonya