I am doing something right. In this crazy world of motherhood where it is easy to doubt yourself at every corner, I know I am doing something right when I see how sweet my little boy, Aiden, can be. Not all the time mind you but overall I have played a part in raising a genuinely thoughtful and caring child. One that even talks about his feelings! Yes! He is a male and will tell me how he is feeling and why. I hope he never gives this up. I hope he always shares with me, and the future love of his life, his emotions.
Of course, I am not naïve. I know he’s not perfect. There are times when he is throwing a fit or being mean or just acting like a difficult child. During those times I take no credit for his behaviour and tell him he must take after his father 😉 I know that for how sweet he is, he is equally full of 3 year old rage. As much as he is a good boy, he can be a little punk too. I swear sometimes he has so much attitude I believe there must be a teenager living inside that little body. But for now, I am pushing that to the side and focusing on something I am more proud of. That is the fact that my hubby and I are raising a good boy.
Aiden is only 3 years old and I never instilled this in him, but for some reason he feels it is his job to protect me. It doesn’t matter that I am his Mommy, that I am ‘the boss’, and that he is the small boy and I am the adult, to him he is my protector. It’s adorable. If I exercise too fast (this seriously happened while I was doing mountain climbers), he will approach me with concern on his face, and ask me to please slow down because I am exercising too fast and I might hurt myself. During Halloween we had an extra pumpkin so I asked him if he wanted to carve it with me (while Daddy was at work). He said no, because he was afraid that I would cut my fingers holding the knife and he didn’t want me to get hurt. We drove from our house to visit our family 2 hours away, and he reports to Poppy right away that he did a great job keeping Mommy safe while we drove. Wait…. I am starting to see a pattern. Maybe it isn’t sweet after all. Maybe he thinks I am an accident waiting to happen and doesn’t trust me with sharp objects, moving vehicles or even my own body! LOL
In all seriousness, he must learn this from me. He sees how much I care for him, how much I am concerned for his safety, so he needs to protect me from the same things I protect him from. Same thing with expressing his feelings. I tell Aiden how I feel. If I am frustrated with something he is doing, I will tell him. If he does something that makes me mad or sad, I will tell him. And I always always always apologize if I lose my cool. Now I find he does the same thing. He may not tell me in the moment, but it doesn’t take long for him to come to me and tell me why he was frustrated. It is so cute. He will say ‘Mommy, I was very frustrated because Camryn was trying to play with my toy’. He apologizes too. So I guess kiddies really do learn by example. Which isn’t always a good thing. I’ve heard him use the F word in context. For example, “Mommy, the birds are eating our fucking garbage!!!’. I have heard him tell me, under his breath, to piss off. Then he immediately says “Sorry Mommy. Daddy says a lot of bad words”. HAHAHA. Well, at least he’s blaming Daddy because I know he has heard me say a few bad words in his short life. Just today I said one and he yelled out from another room “Mommy, LANGUAGE!” and I responded “Sorry!” Wait, who is the child and who is the parent here again? 😉
Even if he goes downstairs to help Daddy work on the basement, he pokes his head out the door literally every 2 minutes and says “Mommy, are you okay up there?”. When I respond “Yes honey, I’m fine!” he says “Call out to me if you need me, Mommy, ok?” I smile every time.
When he knows I am frustrated, he gives me a hug and then runs to draw me a beautiful picture to make me feel better. I get kisses all the time. He holds my hand, simply because he wants to. He’s a snuggler, and I hope that never changes. Then there are the moments where I consider the fact that there are in fact two of him. The good boy and the well, for lack of a better word, ass! Lately he is on this ‘I want you to go away and never ever come back’ or ‘I am not going to love Camryn ever again’. This morning he told Camryn that if he didn’t stop crying he would ‘crack his head open!’ Seriously! Where in the world did he hear this? There are times when I feel like I am raising my voice and disciplining him all the time. How can he go from one extreme to the other within seconds? Yesterday we had a dance party in the kitchen that lasted about two minutes. Even Camryn was dancing and laughing. The party ended abruptly when, like a switch, Aiden started screaming because the music was too loud and he wanted it turned down. I get so frustrated and try not to pull my hair out. Then a few minutes later, he says something so sweet that my heart literally melts and I think ‘are you a 90 year old man living in a 3 year olds body’? He is so wise beyond his years and says things you wouldn’t expect a 3 year old to say…..and I am back to being proud. The crazy episode just moments before pushed aside for just a moment while I take in his goodness.
Like the rest of us, he has his moments and he has his moods (they just change more frequently than most. LOL). He’s just trying to figure things out and as his Mommy, it’s my job to help him do that. To teach him what behavior is and isn’t acceptable (like threatening to crack his brother’s head open). Along the way, you take the good with the bad I guess. While, thankfully, there is more good than bad, I take comfort in the fact that he is turning into a boy I am proud of.
Hugs & Smiles,