Potty Mouth


Happy Sunday! Two blog posts, back to back! I am on a roll 😉

We are 6 months into 2015 and so far this year there have been 3 falls in my house that have involved damage to the mouth/teeth. It’s been a bloody mess (literally). For someone like me who happens to have a fear of teeth (being broken or falling out), it has been rather stressful.

I would never be able to be a Nurse. I don’t respond well to emergencies or blood. But I always hoped that during one of these episodes, I would become a bigger person with superpower strength and control. Instead, I curse. And I cry.

The first incident was back in January. Camryn fell in the bathtub- right in front of my face. It happened so fast. I will never forget the sound of his face hitting the side of the tub. I started screaming like a madwoman, which probably freaked him out even more because he started screeching. I checked him over and couldn’t see where he had hurt himself. Until he opened his mouth and it was full of blood. By this time, my hubby had come running in and grabbed Camryn from me to examine him. I continued to curse like a sailor. I have never said the ‘F’ words so many times consecutively in my life. I was a mess. I was in panic mode. When Jarrett told me he chipped his tooth, I wanted to vomit.

After an early morning trip to the dentist, he was fine, the tooth was fine. He just now has a jagged edge on his front tooth. It gives him character. It is also a daily reminder to me that I hate bath time.

The second fall happened a month ago. I wasn’t actually in the room. The fall happened on my hubby’s watch, which I secretly liked seeing as he learned first-hand how fast things happen, right in front of your eyes. Aiden runs around the house all the time. It had never bothered me. It never made me nervous. The funny thing is, he hadn’t been running laps when he fell. He got off the couch and asked his Daddy to play hide and seek with him and slipped on the living room rug, face planting on the hard wood floor.

I heard Aiden crying hysterically and came running. I knew something happened, this wasn’t a ‘Camryn stole my toy’ cry. Sure enough, blood everywhere. This time, I surprised myself. I took him from my hubby’s arms and I reassured him that everything was alright. All the while my hubby was the one cursing, freaking out that Aiden was going to lose his tooth. Let’s not jump to conclusions, I said. Sure enough, his gums were severely discolored, bleeding and his front tooth was loose. *Insert the infamous F word here*. I felt the panic creeping in but wanted to stay in control. I washed his mouth and managed to calm him down a little bit. Next thing I know, I passed out.

Yup. There you have it. I saw stars, grew weak and felt my legs go out from underneath me. Good thing my hubby was there to catch me. Aiden started crying again, this time saying “Mommy, tell me what’s wrong! Are you okay?” I guess my pale face, sweat soaken skin and inability to stand freaked him out. Not my proudest moment. I was supposed to be taking care of him!! Not having him worry about me! But I attribute my weakness to my lack of sleep, the fact I hadn’t eaten in hours and the stress of the moment, as well as my fear of teeth. I’d like to think that is what it was. I don’t want to think that when my kids get hurt all I do is curse and faint 😉

Aiden had dental surgery and was put to sleep. This was another level of stress, but didn’t involve curse words. I can’t say the same about tears. When I signed the consent form, granting my permission for the dentist to take his tooth if it was damaged, I may have bit my lip to keep the tears at bay. That didn’t happen but we are not out of the woods. Aiden did damage his root so he may lose the tooth. It is already started to discolor.

Episode 3 happened just yesterday. Camryn was playing on his ride on toy car. I wasn’t in the room. I hear a thump, then a shriek. I go running and he’s on his hands on knees. He looks up at me crying and low and behold, a mouth full of blood. I started yelling (yes, curse words). I realize this probably made him even more scared but I curse when I panic, shoot me!! There was so much blood and I couldn’t figure out where it was coming from! Lucky for me, his teeth seemed fine, but his top lip, not so much. What a mess!! One side was split (not stitch worthy split) and the other side was fat. Instantly, 3 times its regular size. While it is no longer as swollen as it was, it is purple. It looks like someone painted the underside of his lip with paint. But otherwise he is fine. Eating, drinking and smiling fine. Within 2 minutes, he had stopped crying and was dancing to Uptown Funk. I took a minute and had a cry too, while calling my hubby in hysterics.

I want to keep my kids in bubbles so they don’t hurt. So they keep all their teeth and don’t break anything. I can’t handle the stress. Not without curse words anyways. At least I didn’t pass out this time, so that’s noteworthy I guess!

I know there will be more bumps, bruises and falls. I doubt I will ever get used to it even though there is nothing I can do about it. But one thing I can do something about is my stress induced potty mouth. I should work on that 😉

Hugs & Smiles,


Chocolate chips


Happy Saturday!

Wow, long time no write! I have been busy (freelance) writing, just not blogging. My apologies, I am sure you all missed me 😉

So last week Aiden turned 4. I could go all sentimental about how I can’t believe how fast time goes by, wasn’t he just a baby yesterday?? But I will save that shit for Facebook. This is the truth and the truth is I now believe Aiden cloned himself, and that one of him is sweet and the other one is, for lack of a better word, an ass.

My son (yeah yeah, like everyone else’s) is sweet, caring and smart. Sometimes I get overwhelmed with how sweet he is. He can be so gentle and he is so caring beyond his years. He will jump up from the table when playing just to kiss my cheek and tell me he loves me. Even if I pretend cry (for whatever reason), he is at my side making sure that my cry is fake and that mommy is in fact, okay. I find myself saying “Awwww……” and then wondering how in the world I am responsible for creating such a sweet little boy. He really is a good boy.

Then, like a switch, he changes. He is no longer gentle or sweet. He is yelling at me or giving me attitude or threatening to take away my iPhone! Ha! Listen up kiddo, I am the parent and YOU are the child. And if you want to keep your fingers, back away from the phone. It just blows my mind how he changes in a split second. I never know what will set him off. A cut apple. Changing the channel. Me getting his straw instead of him getting it himself. All I know is, 4 is going to be fun. 4 is going to be a freakin’ blast. 4 is going to turn me grey.

For example, two days ago, 6:48am he said something SO incredibly sweet, I swear it sounded scripted. Fast forward to 7:03am and he was having a screaming fit (you know the ones with boogers and spit everywhere, not just on his face). I was at a loss for words, standing in the kitchen staring out the window wondering what in the world just happened! I was confused. I needed coffee (some would argue alcohol but it was only 7am) but seeing as I don’t drink coffee, naturally I started eating chocolate chips.

I find myself losing patience and yelling. Then I feel bad so I apologize, and he apologizes and we hug and he promises to never behave like an ass again (my words, not his). HA! Two hours later we are full circle. Repeat cycle.

I was reading something on a Mommy blog recently and someone posed a question “What does your child do that drives you nuts?” There were over 500 responses and some of them were hilarious and some of them I could relate to, others I couldn’t (not yet), but nonetheless, reading them made me feel better. Why? Because it reassured me that it is okay that your child gets on your nerves. It reminded me that I am not the only one who feels the way I do. I am not alone.

Of course there was that one parent who had to say “What’s the point of this? Our children are blessings”. I didn’t respond because someone beat me to the punch. No one is arguing that. Our children are our blessings. But that doesn’t mean they can’t/don’t/won’t drive us nuts!!! They do things that get under our skin, just like they do things that warm our hearts. They are human, albeit little ones, but they are not perfect. We can’t expect them to be.

I can’t expect Aiden to be 100% sweet and gentle and pleasant all of the time. That is not realistic. I will try to remember that when he is screaming at me behind a closed door during a time out. Because no doubt, there will be more episodes like that. And when there are, I’ll be waiting with open arms for that hug I always get when it’s over.

Then I’ll brace myself for the next episode and fill my pockets with chocolate chips while I’m waiting.

Hugs & Smiles,